Blah

May (and early June) have turned out to be 'blah', not so much for the activities but more so for more deteriorating state of mind. Here's a list of things that I should feel excited about, but are failing to float my boat:
>> Promotion at work
>> significant work raise and yearly bonus
>> 2000+ mile round trip drive to Atlanta that resulted in zero, repeat ZERO, fatalities.
>> quality time (and boy, lot's of it) with the family

All in all, May was a wash. Here's hoping the latter half of June results in me getting back on track to my usual moody, temperamental, annoying self. Oh wait...

Bills Draft Roundup

Overall I think it was a pretty decent draft. We got Leodis McKelvin at #11 and James Hardy at #41. I wasn't too thrilled with the mid round picks, but still it was a decent draft. God, I can't wait for football to rev up!

Draft Time

The NFL has reeled me in as year round fan, as I am eagerly anticipating the weekend long NFL draft. Of course, as Bills fan I really only care about what the team will be doing with their number 11 pick. I'd be happy with any of the following:

1.) Stand pat at 11 and hopefully grab CB Leodis McKelvin.
2.) Trade back in the first round and grab either Devin Thomas, Limas Sweed, or Malcolm Kelly
3.) Draft Devin Thomas at 11, then trade back into late first/early second round to grab a CB
4.) Draft a corner (McKelvin, Cromartie) at 11, then tren trade back into late first/early second to grab a WR (i.e. James Hardy)
5.) Trade with Philly at 18 for Lito Sheppard, use the 18 to grab a WR

Of course, I'm an idiot when it comes to this stuff. All I know is that as a Bills fan I'd like to walk away from the draft having addressed CB, WR, TE, and perhaps DE and the OL. We'll see. In honor of the weekend, I'm gonna do up the hair Mel Kiper Jr style

A Couple of Prank Laughs

A couple of months ago one of my co-workers stumbled across the Arnold Schwarzeneggar sound board, and thought it would be great if we could use it on conference calls. Well, one thing led to another, and we stumbled across the following soundbit. The kicker is that women on the other end of the phone sounds exactly like the drunken mountain twat ("'Ol Scotchy") I have to deal with at work:



Perhaps even more entertaining is the sound board prank call from Richard Simmons to a Redneck



Enjoy!

Lost Time

So where the hell have I been for the past month? Lovely and scenic Massachusetts. Marlboro, Northboro, and Westboro, specifically. I've taken up semi-permanent residence at the Hampton Inn in Marlboro due to constant work travel. If I'm out there any more, I'll have to change my permanent address. For the first time in 5 weeks however, I'm at home for the whole week. A little bit of downtime will be nice. I'll have more later this week, touching on the things that are most important to me: the Bills upcoming draft, the beautiful Syracuse weather, the Ahnuld soundboard, Richard Simmons, and 'Ol Scotchy.

But for now, it's a balmy 78°, sunny, and no boss in sight. I'm outta here

Catching Up - First Full Day of Spring

Been busy, but wanted to note the following:

• According to the Golden Snowball site, Syracuse has received a 108" of snow this season. Seems high, as this winter has been filled with high winds, sleet, freezing rain, gray skies, and green grass. Whatever, welcome Sping 2008!
• Had a good time last weekend with Chelle, Russ, and Sue B, but I can't help but feel old when I'm for the night by 11 PM.
• My Final Four is as follows: North Carolina, Kansas, Texas, and UCLA, with UNC winning it all. Not that it matters, I'm terrible at this. Although it's now too late, I was pulling for Cal State Fullerton, the alma matter of dear 'ol Boski
• Despite being clueless, I have to admit I'm digging the fact I'm doing Fantasy Baseball again. All I need to do is pickup Boof Bonser and Willy Mo Pena and my team is complete.
• Miserable drive to and from Marlborough, MA this week. 5 hours of rain, snow and sleet on Wednesday, 5 hours of high winds on Thursday. The payoff? $300 in mileage money. Ka-ching!
• Have I mentioned I hate early Easter? No? Well, I do.
• While I hate that Easter is early, what I love is the my boy Matty J will be one this Sunday. Not only is he cute as a button, he is also the world's single most effective form of birth control.
• For the first time in 2 years, I'm officially on-call for work. No extra pay, no extra reward, but on my deathbed I'll have total consciousness. So I have that going for me, which is nice
• TV roundup - now watching Top Chef, Celebrity Boot Camp, Rock of Love, Flavor of Love, Intervention, Ghost Hunters, and Paranormal state. I live for the TV.
• I'm off to eat my fill of Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs, Cadbury Mini Eggs, Peeps, and black jelly beans. Happy Easter!

Hello, NIT!

Crap:

'Nova wins 82-63

Let's see if Nova makes it - I still think the committee won't take 8 from the Big East.

Go Orange!

I realize now that I don't have a single goddamn post on my beloved Orange. Not that it matters, it's been a frustrating season, with dizzying highs (beating G'Town), and un-fucking-believable lows (losing to S. Florida). All in all, I think this a great young team that will unfortunately be playing in the NIT next week. It's going to take a deep run in the Big East tourney to get an NCAA bid, perhaps winning the whole thing. I just don't see the NCAA taking 8 from the BE, let alone 9.

So with that said, here's hoping for a win today against 'Nova!

Karma

To quote Chelle, What a Dumb Ass. When Spitzer stated "Day One: Everything Changes" apparently he was referring to the quality of pussy he was capable of bringing in. Wow. Karma is a bitch, ain't it Eliot?

Exciting Day at the Granby Walmart

Who doesn't like to celebrate a grand opening?!??

Man caught masturbating outside new Wal-Mart

Oswego County, NY - Not everyone who attended Wal-Mart Supercenter's grand opening this weekend was there to shop.

Several people called the Oswego County 911 Center sometime after 8 p.m. Sunday after seeing a man masturbating in a pickup truck in the parking lot of the new Wal-Mart on state Route 3 in Granby, state police said.

When troopers arrived, they found John D. Gates masturbating in the passenger's seat of his 1991 Ford Ranger pick-up truck.

"Arriving patrols found Gates sitting in the passenger seat of his vehicle while he was still attempting to complete the act," state police said in an e-mail. "Gates was in plain view of customers that were leaving the store."

Gates, of 3296 Main St., Mexico, was arrested on the following charges: Public lewdness, criminal possession of a controlled substance (possessing hydrocodone tablets without a prescription) and unlawful possession of marijuana.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you John D. Gates